Infertility and Its Emotional Side

Being diagnosed with endometriosis — and the fertility issues that can accompany it — can bring on a rollercoaster of emotions, from shock and denial to anger and depression. But you're not alone, and some simple strategies may help you cope.

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Danielle Alvarez, 29, has been living with the physical effects of endometriosis since she began having painful periods in high school. Now that she’s married and trying to have a child, her pain is more than physical — she’s also living with the emotional effects of her infertility and reproductive problems. She says she often feels stressed and overwhelmed, but an endometriosis support group, journaling, and continuing to look for answers all help. 

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“I try to regain my strength by talking it out with my friends, and especially the members of my support group, and by writing down my frustrations,” says Alvarez, who is a mental health counselor living in Washington, D.C. “There is always something new to try, as far as new medications and alternative treatments — that gives me more hope.” 

The Ups and Downs of Reproductive Problems

Facing the reproductive problems that may come with endometriosis — a condition in which tissue that normally lines the uterus begins to grow in other parts of the body — can be as difficult emotionally as physically, but the burden doesn’t have to be yours alone to carry. Your doctor can help by referring you to an endometriosis support group or to a psychologist who specializes in reproductive issues, and sometimes by simply affirming your emotional distress.

“If a woman has been diagnosed with endometriosis, which results in secondary infertility, and she has decided that she wants to start a family, then she’s experiencing distress from two different angles,” says reproductive endocrinologist Judi Chervenak, MD, associate clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology in women’s health at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. “The first is that she has a medical condition, which is resulting in infertility and which could also be causing her physical distress. But she also is experiencing [emotional] distress, in that her physical condition is limiting her ability for that which she so desires.”

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The full range of the infertility experience — from the desire to have a baby to the diagnosis of reproductive problems and the sometimes lengthy process of trying to conceive — can bring on a range of emotions, including overwhelming anger, confusion, depression, a sense of helplessness, and frustration with your body’s limitations.

“You experience loss — the loss of your image of yourself as a healthy person, as a fertile person,” says Mary Lou Ballweg, co-founder and executive director of the Milwaukee-based Endometriosis Association, who has coped with endometriosis personally. “It’s like losing a dream.” 

Helpful Ways to Cope with Reproductive Problems

While you can’t always change the way you feel about your reproductive problem, you can manage your emotions with these coping strategies: 

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• Understand that you are not alone. About 7.3 million women in the United States and Canada face reproductive problems. About 89 million women and girls worldwide have endometriosis. Of those, 30 to 40 percent will face infertility issues.
• See your emotional distress as normal and not a sign of weakness. The pain of reproductive problems is particularly difficult because it doesn’t end with a diagnosis. You are not being needy because you need help coping.
• Realize you may go through stages. The process of coping with a reproductive problem can be likened to the famous “grief cycle” defined by Swiss doctor Elizabeth Kubler Ross. Commonly described in literature on death and terminal illness, this cycle of human response to grief involves going through periods of shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. Ballweg cautions that dealing with a reproductive problem, especially if you’re trying to conceive, may mean revisiting the stages of grief repeatedly.
• Arm yourself with information. “The more you know, the more empowered you’ll feel,” says Ballweg. Check out the Endometriosis Association, which is a leading source for online information, education, and support for endometriosis. The Washington, D.C.-based RESOLVE is an acclaimed leader in general infertility support and education. Also, keep an ongoing list of questions for your doctor.
• Develop a plan of action with your care team. Knowing that you are taking positive steps forward will also make you feel more in control.
• Find ways to deal with your emotions on a regular basis. Whether it’s journaling or an endometriosis support group, it’s important to express your fears and frustrations. The Endometriosis Association offers its members endometriosis support groups, ongoing e-mail support with other women with endometriosis, and a 24-7 hotline. RESOLVE also offers online support groups and in regular meetings throughout the country.

“I was ecstatic to find my support group. We e-mail each other very regularly for advice and a listening ear,” says Alvarez, who has been trying for almost a year to conceive a child. “Talking about things can be really helpful.”

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To learn how to build a foundation of good nutrition for you and your loved ones, visit https://shopneolife.com/heritagenutrimedics